Many years ago, I was told a story (I’m not sure of the authenticity of the story itself) about why metal detectors are now in courthouses. The story was about a man who’s daughter was brutally raped and murdered by another man. The prosecution had gotten evidence proving the man on trial was guilty, however they acquired the evidence illegally, so it had to be dismissed. As the man was being declared ‘not guilty’ the father of the girl stood up and shot him.
After the person finished telling me this story, they said this to me: “I hope that man burns in Hell for eternity.”
While that man certainly deserves that punishment, so, also, do I. So do we all.
However, so many of us cast that kind of wish and judgment on people who have committed less blatant sins than that. Adultery, theft, idol worship, etc. And then, we look at the controversy of sexual identity and the LGBTQ+ community in our current culture.
I see many who claim to be in the body of Christ treat those in such lifestyles with disgust, disdain, and rejection. They preach hellfire and brimstone at them, and some have even been told to go kill themselves. Their families and church congregations have disowned them and kicked them out. These so called “christians” tell them to go clean themselves up before coming back. I have heard stories of people who have cross dressed, literally being kicked out of church and told to not come back until they’re dressed more “appropriately”. They are not welcome there.
To the pastors and leadership in churches around the world: how would you respond if someone from the LGBTQ+ community walked through the doors of the church you lead? I think that question, and others like it, are extremely important to consider, and I strongly encourage you to seek God fervently for how HE would want you to respond.
Jesus welcomed, fellowshipped with, and ministered to sinners on a regular basis. After calling Matthew, Jesus and his disciples went to share a meal in Matthew’s house.
“And as Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” But when [Jesus] heard it, he said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.””
Matthew 9: 10-13 ESV
In light of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew chapter 5, I am guilty of every one of the following things that God hates. And, if you’ll notice, none of the aforementioned “lesser” sins are on this list. (Do not misunderstand me. Sin is sin, but what we label as “greater” or “lesser” often seems to differ from what God focuses on.)
“There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes [self-righteous, ‘holier than thou’, proud], a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies,
and one who sows discord among brothers.”
Proverbs 6:16-19 ESV
It breaks my heart (and, in all honesty, makes me angry too) to see such condemnation shown to the lost. People who are self-righteous, breathing out a false witness, and misrepresenting the very character of God. Who are you, Christ follower, to cast such judgment on another image bearer of The Most High God? Are you greater than God? Do you sit in His judgment seat? Are you also without sin, like Jesus, able to reach Heaven by your own “good” works?
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.”
1 John 1:8 NIV
Within this claiming to be without sin, is also acting as though we are above reproach.
“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:23-24 NIV
And if “all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption [by] Christ Jesus”, then that can include (if they choose God) the addict, adulterer, and those struggling with sexual identity, among many others.
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8 NIV
We were living in sin, actively living our lives in opposition to God and his law, but God had compassion and offered unmerited grace, while we were in the middle of a lifestyle of sin. God turned toward us before we turned toward Him, in the act of the perfect sacrifice of his Son.
“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.
But God…
…being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved.”
Ephesians 2:1-5 ESV
As human beings, we desire to be known. We want people to understand who we are and accept us.
When we first meet someone, very often, one of the first things we tell them about ourselves is what we consider to be the most important thing to us or about who we are. In Exodus 34:6-7, as God first describes his character to his people, the first attribute named is that he is compassionate. God wants us to know his heart, and at the heart of God is compassion.
Throughout scripture, God repeatedly defines His character to be:
-Compassionate
-Gracious
-Slow to anger
-Abounding in Love
-Abounding in faithfulness
-Forgiving wickedness, rebellion, and sin
(Exodus 34:6-7, Psalm 86:15, Psalm 103:8, among many others.)
Throughout the Hebrew scriptures, God’s people repeatedly turn their backs on him, and God is repeatedly shown to be compassionately waiting for them to repent and turn back to him, offering grace and forgiveness.
“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”
2 Chronicles 7:14 NIV
One of the most commonly quoted verses in scripture is John 3:16, however, not many look at the very next verse.
“For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”
John 3:17 NIV
If condemning people wasn’t on Jesus’ agenda, then why is it on ours?
Jesus spent his ministry reaching out to sinners, showing them love and acceptance, and acknowledging their humanity. He didn’t tell them to clean themselves up before coming to him. He spent time with them and just said ‘come’. Jesus repeatedly showed compassion and love to those he met, not passing judgment or condemning. Here I think of the story of the woman caught in adultery. In John 8:3-11. In this situation, Jesus could have easily told them to follow the law and stone her. Instead, he meets her with such love and compassion, refusing to condemn her, even though he easily could have.
“Whoever says he [Jesus] abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.”
1 John 2:6 ESV
So, how was it that Jesus walked? If we are really to be followers of Christ, we are called to model our behavior after His. How did he interact with sinners?
I was recently acquainted with the concept of a common practice in counseling/therapy. Unconditional Positive Regard is the practice of offering unconditional love and acceptance to a person, regardless of what they say or do. Regardless of whether you agree with their choices or lifestyle, and placing no conditions on this acceptance.
This is very much how Jesus treated the sinners that he came in contact with during his 3 year ministry. He did point out sin in people’s lives, but he did so in a compassionate, gracious, and loving manner. And always with the end goal being, restored relationship. The aforementioned story of the adulterous woman ended with grace.
“Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.””
John 8:10-11 ESV
We ought to have unconditional positive regard toward everyone we come in contact with. Be predisposed to think well of others and treat them with kindness, respect (as fellow image bearers), and acceptance. And be ready and willing to offer the benefit of the doubt when the need arises.
I think that one key component to practicing unconditional positive regard in your daily life is to keep in mind the fact that, given different circumstances and upbringing, you might have been in the exact same place as the person at the receiving end of your judgment and condemnation.
“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.”
1 John 1:8-10 ESV
You cannot sit in judgment of someone for their sin without sinning yourself. “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” (My paraphrase of: John 8:3-11.)
As a parent, a large part of my job is to raise my children to seek, Love, and obey God. An unpleasant aspect of that sometimes includes discipline. When I have to discipline my kids, I always make up with them afterwards, and I say the same thing to them every time. “Do you know that I Love you? (“yes”) Do you know that there is nothing you could ever do that will make me Love you less? I might be sad, angry, upset, or disappointed with something you do, but I will never Love you less. You could become the baddest bad guy in the world and I would be very sad and disappointed, but I will still not Love you less.”
That is God’s heart for us. That is God’s heart for the lost. Not only will God never Love us less, but He is also continually giving us opportunities for redemption and opportunities to choose Him. So, who are we to refuse that to fellow sinners? The only difference in God’s eyes between us and them, is that we have asked for, and been granted, forgiveness.
We are told to show “brotherly love and kindness”, not rejection and condemnation. Do not condone the sin, but accept the sinner.
“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “Do not commit adultery”, “Do not murder”, “Do not steal”, Do not covet”, and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”
Romans 13:8-10 NIV
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
But…
…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance [long-suffering, patience], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
Galatians 5:13-14, 19-23a NIV
Are you faithfully loving and kind toward the people God has put in your life, even if they are living in sin?
C. S. Lewis defined love in this way: “Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”
In the book of Matthew, Jesus is asked what the (singular) greatest command is.
He names two.
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
Matthew 22:37-40 ESV
You, church body, preach ‘love and forgiveness of sins’ but often do not show it in your actions toward, and interactions with these people who don’t know God. Out of one side of your mouth, you preach “there is no judgment in Christ”, and out of the other side you speak condemnation and rejection. You preach “come as you are” and when people do just that, you criticize, condemn, and judge. You do not really mean: “come as you are”. What you really mean is: “come on my terms”. You mean “you must fit into the mold I created”, rather than, “you must be like Christ”.
You skirt around them, look the other way, and avoid them because they make you uncomfortable.
At the time of Jesus’ ministry, there were many disagreements between the ‘righteous’ Jews and, the ‘sinful ‘ and ‘unclean’ Samaritans. When travelling, the Jews would take a much longer route to skirt around Samaria, so they wouldn’t have to dirty themselves by coming in contact with ‘those’ Samaritans. In John 4:1-42 when Jesus had to travel across Israel, he didn’t just go through part of Samaria to shorten his journey, he went through the heart of Samaria, and stayed there for two days. He stayed in their homes and shared meals with them. He didn’t talk down to them, but spoke on their level, showing compassion and love.
What does that tell us about how we are to reach these people?
When you preach “come as you are”, then reject them when they do, you add to the rejection they may have experienced their whole lives. Sin and it’s consequences are not pretty.
Did you expect it to be?
As I have spent time studying and praying over this piece you are currently reading, I looked at the dictionary’s definition of the word ‘condemn’ to ensure that I had a correct understanding of the word. I will share some of the definitions with you.
- to express an unfavorable or adverse judgment on; indicate strong disapproval of; censure. (another synonym: criticize)
- to pronounce to be guilty; sentence to punishment
- to judge or pronounce to be unfit for use or service
- to force into a specific state or activity: His lack of education condemned him to a life of menial jobs. [His blatant sin condemned him to rejection by “righteous christians”.]
- to doom to eternal punishment in hell.
- to declare incurable.
One tactic the Enemy uses to confuse the body of Christ is to take a truth and twist a lie around it or blend multiple truths that talk about similar, but different things, which makes the lie more believable because there is truth mixed up in it. For example: taking a truth, such as; adultery is a sin, and another truth, such as; scripture telling Christ followers how to deal with sin in the church, and the enemy blends them, so that we think it is our job to tell those who are not Christ followers that they are Hell-bound sinners. Both are truths, but they are taken out of context and and misapplied, as though they were talking about the same thing.
Christ’s mission was not to condemn the world, but to save it. Paul also said that it wasn’t his job to judge those outside the church. Those who are not Christ followers are not held to the same standard that we are. We know the truth and have the Spirit of God in us.
“What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside.”
1 Corinthians 5:12-13a NIV
“The servant who knows the master’s will and does not get ready or does not do what the master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”
Luke 12:47-48 NIV
Christ follower, you have been given much grace, compassion, and forgiveness. You are called to show the heart of Christ to those around you by the way you act and treat others. 2 Corinthians 5:20 says that we are ambassador’s of Christ. Upon looking up the definition of the word ‘ambassador’ I found this definition: “A diplomatic official of the highest rank appointed and accredited as representative in residence by one government or sovereign to another”.
You are an appointed representative of God in Heaven, in residence on the earth. If God’s heart is compassion and forgiveness without condemnation, and we are showing condemnation to those around us because they are sinners in need of a savior: then we are being pretty poor representatives of God and his Kingdom.
Do not harden your heart against people because they have conspicuous sin, because, once upon a time, you were just like them, and God sees what is in your heart.
“All of us also lived among them [sinners] at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.”
Ephesians 2:3-5 NIV
“Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?”
James 4:11-12 NIV
Christ follower, just because you have been forgiven of your sin, that does not mean that you will not be held accountable for your speech and actions on the day of judgment.
“According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it. For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.”
1 Corinthians 3:10-15 ESV
“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Matthew 12:36-37 ESV
Brothers and sisters in Christ, I implore you to live your life in a manner that follows after the compassionate, gracious, merciful, and forgiving heart of our great God.
“Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!”
James 2:12-13 NIV
I would like to ask you to take an extra few minutes to listen to this song by David Crowder “Come As You Are”. While you listen, instead of picturing a well groomed person humbly coming to God, picture in your mind the people (and people groups) that you are inclined to think cannot be reached by God. The LGBTQ+ community, people who live for “the party life” (consumed by drugs and alcohol), people who frequent strip clubs, those who work in the strip clubs, and any others you can think of. People trying to find acceptance, fulfillment, or their identity in the wrong places.
Jesus doesn’t require us to clean ourselves up before coming to him.
However, he gently and Lovingly, kneels in front of us and washes our feet for us. We are told to “be like Christ”. So, go and be like Christ.
And lastly…..
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Colossians 3:12-14 NIV
“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.”
Micah 6:8 NIV
I pray, fervently, that God will give you His heart. A heart full of compassion, grace, and forgiveness, that covers all things in Love.
Letters to the Modern Church 
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